Let's Talk about You & Me

I believe that men and women are equally important in the family and to society. It is obvious to me that they are different and have different roles but that seems to be a controversial subject these days. I think men and women and their distinct differences are important in families and relationships.

Growing up in my family I was taught that men and women worked together to create a home. The man and father was the protector and provider. The wife and mother was the nurturer and home-maker. Growing up in this progressive world I have seen that that view has changed significantly to many people. I have met and talked with a lot of people who for some reason get very frustrated and angry with this view.

My sister got married this week and it has been pointed out by many members in my family that my sister does not cook. I don’t think it is because she is bad at it, it is simply the fact that she doesn’t like it and therefore doesn’t do it often. Because she is now a wife a certain expectation had been placed on her that she will now have to learn how to cook and feed her and her husband.

Why are these gender specific traits still so expected?

Maybe it is because these expectations come from the generation before us. Maybe it is our evolutionary instincts that naturally help us know our roles. Whatever the reason, men and women work together to create families.

It is important in any relationship to have equality and respect, but that does not mean men and women have to do everything the exact same. It isn’t even important to fit into the social constructs created but to understand who we are and the role we play in our family unit.

I think it is well known that men and women are different. We have different ways of dealing with our problems, reacting to things, etc. When a woman gets dumped, she probably feels sad and wants to talk to her friends about it, whereas a man might hold it in and say he is fine even though he is hurting. These of course are stereotypical situations buts I hope you get the gist. Women are known for being more nurturing and thoughtful where men may be thought of as more tough and alpha. Again, totally stereotypical but maybe there is something to it. I encourage you to research this a little more about the characteristics that are common for males and females. Of course, not all women are the same and not all men are the same, but it is interesting to understand the biological differences from each gender.

I believe these differences are to be celebrated and encouraged so we can all work better together. As a college student and living with roommates a common topic talked about (at least for me and my roommates) is dating and marriage. We go to an activity and a lot of our first thoughts are to scope the room for attractive males. This leads to dating which often leads to good and bad times. I hear to often “men are monster”, “men are the worst”, “we don't need a man”. To be honest I hate this. I think it is simply because women think differently than men and so we often don’t understand them. Sure they can be rude and thoughtless but so can women.

The point I am trying to get to is that men and women are different in many ways and that is okay. To create a relationship where both individuals are progressing they will need to be different with different strengths and weaknesses so they can work together.

I invite you this week to think of your strengths and you skills and how those in relationships with you add or aid you in maintaining this healthy relationship.

-        - Emily