Are There Stereotypes in Marriage and Family?

Hello everyone! Thank you for tuning in another week!

Now that we are diving more into marriage this week and the beginnings of this special union by the engagement and then the first few months and the transition into parenthood, we are going to analyze the cultural norms that are part of our individual societies. We have talked in the past few weeks about culture and how the media and those around you create a culture. That culture relates to dating, marriage, and parenthood. Take a minute to think about what your culture teaches and enforces about these subjects. We know that the way we date and the connections we make with people matter and now we are going to transition into looking how it really applies to marriage.

 I have noticed a pattern in our culture of stereotyping the roles of husbands and wives. There are, of course, different things that work for every couple, but I have recognized these stereotypes as I have learned more about the family this week. 

They are important to recognize, at least for me, because I don't want to go into a marriage with certain expectations that are misleading and can hurt my relationship in the long run.

1. The wife is in charge of planning the wedding. I have seen too many times that most of the decisions about the wedding and reception fall upon the shoulders of the future wife. This is a sacred ritual and celebration of two individuals coming together and it doesn’t make sense that one individual makes the decisions without input from the other. We discussed the other week how dating patterns reflect into the marriage. The engagement is a time for the two individuals to come together to plan a big event that includes personal taste, dealing with family members, sorting out the finances, etc. So, when it is your turn to get married, make this a time for you and your future spouse to come together or if you know someone who is soon to be wed, encourage them make decisions together and each partake of the wedding outcome.

2. The father doesn't need to be as involved in the baby's development. What I mean by this is I have seen from the people around me and media believe that because the mom carries the child she has more or all the weight when it comes to parenting, naming the child, etc. Or the idea that all he contributed was sperm and that is all he is good for. I learned this week that when a husband and wife decide to add a precious child to their family it is made in love and should be nurtured with that same love. A child is brought into this world together and this transition holds the possibility to unite a couple or to divide them. Someone I look up to a lot told me this week that one of the things he was most grateful his wife did was to include him in every step of the pregnancy. He went to the ultrasound appointments, and he chose to wake up in the nights to care for the child while his wife slept. He said he was able to form deeper attachments to his wife and his children.

What I learned from identifying and understanding these fallacies is that your marriage is a relationship that requires collaboration and equality. This relationship with your spouse is one that affects many, many lives including your own. When I talked to my parents, they said that "marriage is the best thing in the world." and that it has brought the greatest joy to them.

What does your culture teach you about marriage and family? Comment below!

Have a great week!

-        Emily