Is Dating Really That Important?

 I hope you all have had a good week!

Today's topic is super interesting to me and hopefully you can find some good ideas from it as well. The topic is DATING!

I talked to my roommates and friends a lot about dating this week to get their opinion and take on specific aspects of dating such as: would you ever ask a guy out, do you think the guy should pay, what kind of things do you look for in a date, are dating and hanging out different? These are the questions that we discussed and it led to super interesting discussions. 

I would love to hear your answers and opinions to those questions!

Every culture is different but for the culture that I am in I feel like dating is kind of a big deal. People hang out until they decide they like each other and then they straight into boyfriend and girlfriend status. As I learn more about the importance of dating I reflect on my life and the way that I think about it now. I am going to use my life as an example of how dating in important.

The way that I grew up was that we weren't supposed to date until we were 16 and even then the dates needed to be group dates. When we turned 18 that is when we were encouraged to go on more exclusive dates. In my experience I think that was good but it didn’t necessarily happen that way and so it didn’t have the desired effects. I didn’t get asked out on many dates and so that and other things during that time made me extremely self-conscious and have low self-esteem. I was so desperate for someone to like me because I wasn’t getting asked out on these dates I thought something was wrong with me. With that mindset I developed an unhealthy and unrealistic idea of dating and relationships. This led to me thinking a date was basically a confession of love and commitment rather than a fun activity getting to know someone. Again, I was so desperate for these few boys who asked me on a date to like me in case I never get asked out again. When I realized they didn’t ask me out because they liked me but for how I made them feel I was crushed and I felt like I never wanted to put myself out there again. Fast forward to modern day. I went on a date with someone I really was interested in getting to know better. It was a good date and I had fun. I think back to my experiences and my insecurities when it comes to dating and it still influences me today. I went on a good, chill date with this guy and now I am overthinking it and it is making me feel bad about myself the crazy things my mind is coming up with.

I am not sharing my experience to say woe is me, but to maybe shed light on how many people feel. What would you do if you were in my situation? Do you take your own advice?

As you can see from my example dating has a huge impact on the future relationships. In my case, if I am so insecure that I might mistake attention for love then that doesn't put me in a very good spot.

To me, dating should be fun but it causes a lot of anxiety in a lot of people.

This is part of why I wanted to study marriage and family. These relationships and the way we get to them cause people so much pain and heartache that maybe some of them are caused by insecurities. I know people who probably got married because deep down they thought this would be their only chance. I know people who haven’t gotten married or into a relationship because they haven’t found a man who meets their standards.

It is a big world full of lots of people. Ask someone on a fun, casual date and evaluate how it makes you feel.

-        Emily