Intimacy Transcends the Physical

I hope you all had a great week!

I really liked talking last week about stereotypes in marriage relationships. This week I am excited for the topic as well. The topic is sexual intimacy in marriage.

In my religion we believe in the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman and the physical bounds that are set by God. Frankly, we believe in saving sex for marriage. I definitely believe that the reason this has been the norm in our culture for the past hundreds of years is not only because of the rules of society but because it makes sense because it comes from God.

Today, we are not going to focus on the religious side of this topic but on the scientific and cultural side. Basically, I am writing this blog to help others understand the importance of marriage and family and everything that comes with those relationships and being sexually intimate is such an important factor.

We have talked about and established in past research that there are differences between men and women. That difference is purely biological. These differences play a role in one’s sexual relationships as well. It plays a part in every single person’s life. There is pre-marital sex, teen pregnancy, birth control, AIDS, education, pornography, sexually transmitted diseases, abuse, marriage, babies, etc. All of these have to do with sex and I’m sure each of us knows someone who has any one of these things as big, defining moments in their lives. So this topic matters a lot.

Let’s take a second to look at the biological chemicals and hormones that are involved with sex. Dopamine is a chemical that produces the ‘wooohooo’ feeling. Think of skydiving, playing sports, asking a girl/boy on a date. That heart-racing, heart-thumping feeling that makes you equal parts excited and nauseous. This is released in men and women also during sex. Next, is Serotonin. Serotonin is a chemical that gives you that ‘ahhh’ feel good feeling. It is released when you exercise, achieve a goal, feel gratitude, and have sex. Lastly, and this one is special, think of Oxytocin. It is a hormone that only women have and helps us attach and make connections. It is released during childbirth, breastfeeding, and sex. 

Men are at their sexual peak in their 20’s. Women in their mid-30’s. Men take seconds to get aroused. Women take minutes. Men almost always seek connection through physical actions. Women seek connection through emotional attachments. With these biological differences how is it that men and women are supposed to compliment each other and both be satisfied and fulfilled in their romantic relationships. This is one of the coolest things that I realized while studying this topic this week. Men and women compliment each other so well. They are both so different that together they make a whole relationship. If it was purely one way or the other it wouldn’t be as fulfilling. Men and women work together so perfectly.

Just think if a couple gets married in their early 20’s and the husband wants to have sex way more often than the wife. They should talk and communicate about it to collaborate on a solution. Mostly, what should happen is the man will need to learn to slow down a little bit and practice some self-discipline and learn how to also foster an emotional relationship that his wife needs. The woman will need to explore her sexual development and rise up to meet her husband. This is one way their biological differences help them come together more. Think of the same couple now in their mid-30’s. They have a couple of kids and the husband is worried about making enough money in his job and buying that new house they need and therefore has lessened interest in sex and sexual intimacy. The wife, in her sexual peak is able to initiate and continue to help their personal and sexual connection strong. 

I know that men and women are divine and our bodies are made for each other. I would love to hear your thoughts and the connections you see between men and women below in the comments. 

Have a great week!

- Emily