Communication is Key

This week I studied the topic of communication. A bunch of people were asked what they thought was the key to a successful marriage and the majority of this group said communication. So I feel it is fair to ask, is communication really the key?  

I sure think so!

I have, and I'm sure we all have, been in situations where there was a presence of a conflict of some sort and an absence of communication. You know that icky feeling when you know you should probably talk it out. Or how your thoughts and feelings get more and more tense toward the other person even when they are not doing or saying anything to you. How your mind makes assumptions and analyzes their every word and their every action. I don't know about you but those situations make me very unhappy. On the opposite end, have you had a relationship where those feelings started creeping and rather than avoid it you talk about it. It is so hard to bring up your feelings and in a way, be vulnerable to them, but also that feeling of relief and contentment that comes from effectively communicating and working through a conflict. The way we communicate and the very fact that we do communicate is what matters.

There are so many different forms of communication and if you really think about it everything we do and say communicates something to someone. The three main forms of communication I want to look into today are words, tone, and non-verbal communication.

Words make up about 14 percent of the message you try to convey. There are many different kinds of conversations we can have. You can talk about the weather and what your favorite color is and this is good conversation and all but that kind of conversation doesn’t often lead to deep connections. You can take it one step farther and talk about your thoughts and feelings, your likes and dislikes. Another important aspect of communicating through words is listening and validating what others say as they confide to you their thoughts and feelings.

Tone is also very important when it comes to communication. Tone makes up 35 percent of the message you try to convey. When I was in High School my English teacher taught us the importance of grammar by giving us this sentence in two ways. “Let’s eat, Grandma.” and “Let’s eat Grandma.” He explained when you read them one conveyed the message of “I’m hungry, let’s eat.” And the other message we can get is “I’m hungry and Grandma looks tasty, let’s eat her.” I think the same thing is with tone. You can tell someone “I love you.” with deep sincerity of harsh sarcasm.

Non-verbal cues make up a whopping 51 percent of the message you convey, so it is arguably the most important factor of communication. I think this comes from the saying “actions speak louder than words”. People can talk and speak how they may but often their body language and their presence is what gives the accurate message.

Now these three factors are very important for face-to-face communication, but what about digital communication? Texting is such a large part of our culture and a lot of our communication is done through digital means. We text instead of call, we swipe instead of making conversation.

What are your thoughts? How does knowing the important parts of communication make you want to change how you communicate with others? Does it?

I know communication is something that I found very interesting and want to implement some new practices into my life. I hope you all got something or learned something new this week. Talk to you next time!

-  Emily